So how exactly
does one decide to go to Malta with less than a week to prepare? Well,
Its not just a Hmm.. I feel like going to Malta
sorta-thing, its a complicated, stepwise process: Step
1: The discovery that Iceland Air is having a sale. For
the low, low price of $399, two people may go from Baltimore to any
of a half dozen or so European destinations. Step 2: Call
your sister, who always has as much free travel time as you do and
ask her if she wants to go to Copenhagen for a few days (or Paris,
or London, or Amsterdam, etc.). Step 3: Have your sister
explain that there are numerous last-minute and discount travel companies
based in the UK that can fly you all around the world for ridiculous
low prices if you can afford a little spontaneity (Why yes, yes I
can!).
Browsing
the available packages online, Malta immediately stuck out as the
front-runner. Majorca was another island destination that appealed
to me, but Lisa had already been there somewhat recently, so that
became first alternate. With minor rearrangements to our IcelandAir
departure date, I was able to find a week in Malta, with airfare and
accommodations (including breakfast!) for £149 Yeah,
baby!
Monday,
1/15
We departed
Baltimore for Reykjavik and found the island still shrouded in complete
darkness by mid-morning. You have to admire the Icelanders: I
dont know if my circadian rhythms could handle living at such
a latitude that you dont see the sun until after noon (or not
at all) for months at a time. I toyed with the idea of leaving
the airport for a half-hour to get my passport stamped and say that
I walked around in Iceland, but it just wasnt worth it. I
expect Ill get back there someday when I have time to explore
(in the summer, where you can frolic in the sun for 20+ hours a day,
perhaps?).
In stark
contrast to Iceland, our arrival in Heathrow was full of happy beams
of sunlight. This is not the normal January meteorological experience
for England, and I was pleased that we would be able to explore London
with nice, clear blue skies for photography. First things first,
though a place to stay. Lisa is a semi-regular visitor
of London and she knew a bed & breakfast close to Victoria station
for our nights stay, and convenient early morning train ride
to Gatwick.
Stuff
stashed, we went exploring for the afternoon, snapping obligatory
shots of Big Ben & Parliament. The London Eye (the huge Ferris
wheel / observatory) was closed for repairs. We found out on
BBC that night that it closed that day for 10 weeks of repairs.. well,
shit. But all the shops were open, so we engaged in British power-shopping
for the rest of the day. That evening, we met up with a London-based
friend of Lisas for drinks & a nice Italian dinner. I
decided that its a cool thing to know people in different parts
of the world.
Tuesday,
1/16
>Yawn<
Bleah. We woke up at 3:30 to catch the train to the airport. I
resisted trying to figure out what time my body thought it was, as
Ive found the best way to get over jet lag is to not think about
what time you think it is.
The flight
from Gatwick to Malta is about 3 hours. We arrived to beautiful
sunny skies and temperatures in the low 70s. During our entire
week , the temperatures stayed in the mid to upper 60s, allowing us
the best possible conditions for exploration (well, Lisa thought it
was a bit cool, but shes one of those weird people who dont
thermoregulate very well to which I just say Oh, just
evolve).
Regardless
of what time our respective bodies thought it was, Lisa and I both
needed a Maltese nap. And upon checking into our hotel, that
was the first thing we did. Why do we resist such things when
we are kids? That is one of the first realizations that you are
becoming older and wiser when you can appreciate a good nap.
Rested
and ready for adventure, we explored the area around our hotel. We
were staying in a city called Qawra, which is pronounced with a silent
Q, which strikes me as odd, but hey, I didnt invent
the language and as long as I can borrow from their vocabulary for
Scrabble, Im happy. Anyway, sticking to the coast, we walked
to the touristy area of St. Pauls Bay. Here they have rows
of crap-tastic souvenir shops and lots of restaurants. Lisa just
loves the crap-tastic souvenir shops.. She has friends who collect
snow-globes and various bourgeois trinkets (plus lets not forget
her own glow-in-the dark religious figurine collection!)
For dinner,
we ate at one of the omnipresent pizza establishments, though I tried
to sample something Local-ish and indulged in pizza with Maltese goat
cheese and something called caponata, which Lisa informed
me was some kind of spiced or pickled Mediterranean vegetable-thing. For
the record: Mmm.. yummy and/or tasty.
After
coffee and dessert back at the hotel, We started the great Maltese
Scrabble tournament, and I drew first blood (If you didnt know,
dem Pedersens are pretty competitive with the ol Scrabble brand
crossword game).
Wednesday,
1/17
Mmm..
free breakfast. Well, kind-of Mmm, Its a British breakfast,
meaning that it features the infamous beans and toast with
cooked tomato accompaniment. Eww. Just thinking about it
makes me shudder. Im really not sure about British culinary
traditions. It just goes to show that if you put your resources
into building an Empire and dont ever think about interesting
meals, it wont ever get done (However, dont put ALL your
resources into good food like France and get your butt
kicked by every upstart European empire while you are happily eating
your croissants). Suffice to say, I will need to be creative
at breakfast for the remainder of the week.
After
breakfast, our tour company was having a Malta-orientation meeting. Lisa
and I poked our head in, but it looked to us like a thinly-disguised
buy our extra packages meeting. Not having any need
for a Maltese time-share or any desire to be on a bus all day with
a bunch of British senior citizens, we went off to explore on our
own.
First
on our agenda was the walled capitol city of Valetta. Valetta
was given to the famous Knights of Malta as a thank-you
gift for stopping the Turkish invasion of the mid-1500s. It was
a pretty nice gift! The city was designed on a grid, and the
narrow streets provided wonderful photography around every corner. Highlights
of Valetta include St. Pauls Cathedral, which is (by far) the
most ornate church Ive ever seen. It was truly marvelous,
but they wouldnt let you take any pictures. By my estimation,
we walked roughly 340,000 miles (547,000 km) around Valetta and the
surrounding towns. Lisa even walked herself into a heavy sugar
crash and required a Maltese cheese-pie injection before we could
continue. On the way down to the bay, and hopefully a bus stop,
we discovered a botanical garden which was populated by a dozen or
more stray cats. Also present in the garden was the self-proclaimed
guardian of the felines: The Cat Lady of Malta. She would
call them all by name as she fed them canned cat food (Or perhaps
it was her food that she decided to share - eww). It was kind
of sad, but CLoM didnt seem unhappy, so why should I be?
After
a bit of searching, we were able to find a bus stop that serviced
Qawra The Maltese bus system was quite good, allowing inexpensive
transport to just about everywhere we wanted to go on Malta.
Upon
reaching our hotel, we bought a bottle of wine and threw down for
another go at Scrabble. Mark won again, extending his (capacious)
vocabulary dominance.
Thursday,
1/18
Oh boy,
Beans and toast! I cleverly constructed a make-shift breakfast
sandwich out of flavorless scrambled eggs, a slice of tart cheese
and a hard roll (McGuivers breakfast, I call it). I
will not eat beans on toast for breakfast. Ever.
On the
agenda for today was Mdina. Once the capital of Malta, Mdina
is a beautiful, walled city near the islands center. It
sits atop one of the highest points in Malta and has been successfully
repelling invaders for about 3,000 years.
Within
the citys walls, is the National History Museum. Coming
from Washington DC, the land of the Smithsonian museums, its
hard for me not to hold a smug, superior museum attitude wherever
I go. But this museum experience was great because it sucked. They
had pictures of interesting insects and diagrams on the wall that
may have been pulled from a biology textbook. There were rooms
with a few shells and rocks and another room with an impressive collection
of creepy, stuffed birds (some wealthy, dead, Maltese persons
collection, I imagine). One final room (the Mammal room) had
some surreal, aged taxidermy and a faded poster of whales from an
old National Geographic. It was a laughable museum, but the giggles
made it well worth the admission price of 1 Maltese Lira (about $2.40).
Jeez,
youd think we were all museum-ed out at this point, but we couldnt
pass up the Mdina Dungeons. This tourist-trap museum
showcased over 2,000 years of torture and described in morbid detail
anything that happened on Malta even remotely associated with human
suffering. Each of the gruesome stories was recreated in life-sized,
waxy detail I loved it!
The rest
of Mdina is pretty small, so we were able to explore its entirety,
snapping panoramic pictures of Malta from atop the parapets. Outside
Mdinas walls is the neighboring city of Rabat. Rabat is
also full of history, including a recently excavated Roman Villa. Id
love to tell you about the extensive Catacombs of St. Peter, but we
forgot to do that. Instead, we caught a bus to Mosta to find
some lunch.
In addition
to excellent pasta, the restaurant we selected also had internet service. How
nice to be so far from home but still have the ability to nyeah-nyeah
our friends and family. Thats what the internet is all
about (well, that and lots and lots of porn). Across from the
restaurant was Mostas star attraction: The domed church,
Santa Marija Assunta. While impressive (Apparently this is the
3rd largest dome in Europe), the most amazing part is a particular
historical event. During World War II, a German bomb pierced
the dome, didnt explode, careened around the church a bit, and
ultimately left the 300 or so congregation members in the church at
the time, uninjured. It was hailed as a miracle and an striking
example of Gods mercy (But it occurs to me that 55 million
people died outside that church during that war and thats
all Im gunna say on that).
In a
unanimous feminine vote, it was decided that we would return to St.
Pauls Bay and resume power-shopping for crap. What the
hell, I needed coffee mugs anyway. Abuzz with the intense energy
from shopping, Lisa rallied for her first Scrabble win of the trip.
Friday,
1/19
Breakfast
breakthrough! Next to the horrible beans and toast was a bin
containing the British equivalent of Sugar Smacks (The British probably
called them Smashing Frostelles or something equally silly). Regardless,
I should be able to coast all the way through the rest of the vacation
with that slightly sweetened, puffed-rice goodness.
It was
our first overcast day with possible rain, but we decided to make
the trip to Gozo, the Northernmost of the 3 Maltese islands. The
rain started as we boarded the ferry for the half-hour ride, and it
really started pouring as soon as we stepped off in Gozo. Now,
if the guide book was right, these kind of storms should blow over
as quickly as they appear, and much to our surprise, the book was
right! The rain suddenly stopped and the sun came out for the
rest of the day, just like a Hollywood special effect.
From
the ferry terminal, we caught a bus to Gozos major city, Victoria. There,
a fantastic citadel is built on one of the islands highest points
offering splendid photography of the city and surrounding area. Its
hard to believe that the walls of the citadel were being built while
our country was just getting discovered.
After
lunch we discovered that a 400 year-old citadel wasnt very old
at all. The ruined megalithic temple at Ggantija was built in
3500 B.C.! Theres something about walking around 5,000
year old ruins that helps make ones life problems seem smaller
and less significant (ruin therapy, I call it try it some time!).
Our 1
Lira ruin ticket also got us in the windmill museum in the neighboring
town of Xaghra. The windmill was originally built in 1724, and
was now apparently a museum AND private residence, because we toured
it during what seemed like a Maltese family spat. Leaving that
scene, we set out to explore greater Xaghra, and learned from a shopkeeper
that today was a big day for the town. Later in the afternoon,
there was to be a funeral for the (quite famous) conjoined twin from
England. I remembered the scenario from CNN A religious
British couple went to court to keep from murdering one
of the twins, even though it would save the life of the other. The
courts ruled in favor of the doctors and they cut Mary
loose (saving the larger, stronger Jodie).
(For
an account of the story, click here)
Lisa
and I had no idea that the British couple was from Gozo, but we decided
NOT to crash the funeral (thats us, the sensitive ones). Instead,
we decided to do some more shopping, and bought some Gozo Glass,
which is gorgeous, hand-blown art - perfect for all gift occasions!
(For
more about Gozo Glass, click here)
We took
the ferry home, and found a restaurant specializing in Maltese food. Hailing
myself as the Indiana Jones of culinary exploration, I
ate the rabbit spaghetti! I had never tasted lagomorph before
(as I never got around to eating the ones I worked with in my research
science years), but found it rather tasty.
Digesting
the rabbit, Mark chalked-up another Scrabble victory (For those of
you keeping track at home, thats now 3 to 1 in favor if the
Indiana Jones of culinary exploration).
I could
resist no more. The siren song of the casino a few blocks away
drew me in like a hungry dog to a bowl of Smashing Frostelles (besides,
what was I going to do with all my British pounds?) Despite the
crowd (mostly British senior citizens from the various tour packages),
I found that nobody was playing blackjack. I played alone and
actually started winning some money. I noticed that my good fortune
was starting to draw a crowd of spectators. I was feeling a bit
like James Bond for a while (Jeez, would James Bond hit a soft-17
if the dealer was showing a 2? Shit, I dont know.. I hope
my onlookers didnt either). I cashed out around 100
bucks up, which would nicely pay for my meals in Malta. Not bad
at all.
Saturday,
1/20
After
devouring a hearty bowl of Brilliant Sweetened Bits, we
caught a bus to Maltas East coast. There, we found the
fishing village of Marsaxlokk (pronounced marsashlock),
and between us, I estimate we took 450,000 pictures of all the colorful
boats. We got a few sprinkles as some gray clouds blew in, but
like yesterday, they quickly blew out to sea. We caught a bus
going toward Valetta and were stunned to see some impressive flash
flooding.. The torrents were well over half way up the wheels
of the parked cars we passed. I guess the heavy stuff had missed
us!
Dodging
puddles, we explored the towns to the west of Valetta (Sliema, Gzira,
Pieta), and ultimately found a great harbor-side restaurant for some
more yummy Maltese food.
On the
way back to Qawra, we stopped again in Mosta to check our internet
mail. How did we ever survive without the internet and e-mail? Truly
a riddle of our age. Back at the hotel, Lisa rallied back-to-back
Scrabble victories, evening the score. Unimpressed with the Hotels
selection of DVD for that evening, we enjoyed The Iron Giant
on my portable DVD player (How did I ever survive without a portable
DVD player? Im kidding).
Sunday
1/21
Oh, sad
day the hotel is out of Sugared Bumbly Puffs
apparently the Brits were keen on them too, or perhaps they had a
collective epiphany: Good Lord, were eating beans
on toast and cooked tomatoes for breakfast, how foul! so I went
to the backup plan: a hybrid bowl of rice crispies and special K.
According
to the bus schedule, we could catch a bus in Valetta that would take
us to the southern part of the Island, where more Neolithic temples
await, so off we went. When we arrived in Valetta, Lisa had to
forcibly keep herself from weeping tears of sublime joy, as there
was a HUGE crap-tastic flea market along the entire length of Valettas
city walls. Even I got a little excited when I found some bootleg
DVDs, including the not-yet-released Star Wars Trilogy, but my DVD
player couldnt play them (I think they were made for Malta and
Lesotho only). The experience was not a total loss though; Lisa
bought some ugly porcelain dogs for her roommates ugly dog collection. Great.
We arrived
mid-morning to the ruins of Hagar Qim and Mnajdra. As we were
walking to the ruins, we passed a man and his 2 young kids investigating
something along the roadside. They had found a little chameleon,
one of those cool kinds that looks like its wearing mittens
and can swivel its eyes around. I had no idea that chameleons
even existed in Malta, so now I would probably spend the rest of the
trip searching the brush for the cool little fuckers.
The ruins
were impressive. Like the ruins on Gozo, these structures are
also dated to around 3500 B.C. That just messes with my head. Here
was evidence of an imaginative civilization building monolithic temples
over five thousand years ago! I have a hard time thinking of
anything before about 1974.
FIVE
THOUSAND YEARS.
Okay,
you get the point. Done with the ruins (and the tasty pasta lunch
from the Hagar Qim restaurant), we returned to Valetta where we busted
out our black & white film. We re-explored the city, looking
up and down the narrow streets looking for choice photographic opportunities
(which werent hard to find at all).
On the
way out of town, we found the Museum of Archaeology, where they have
all the cool artifacts discovered at the various ruins we had been
exploring around Malta and Gozo for the past few days. Unlike
the Natural History Museum, this one was actually quite impressive. It
was well exhibited and quite informative about Maltese cultural history. We
saw impressive carvings of fat ladies (they made a lot of those),
but no falcons. I think Hollywood made that stuff up.
For dinner,
we returned to the first place we ate at in Malta (the pizza place). The
best thing about this place was the 70s Euro-disco music. We
heard the same ridiculous boogie boogie song from the
first night, and had a little chuckle. Well, when they played
it AGAIN, we laughed until pizza came out our noses (not pretty). Figuring
this was fate (or maybe a lack of CDs in the cd-changer), I vowed
to find this song on Napster. Well, I found it and now YOU TOO
can listen to the infamous Maltese boogie boogie song:
In other
news, Mark resumes his Scrabble dominance and chalks up another victory.
Monday
1/22
Bloody
British breakfast.
Well,
its our last full day in Malta, and its also partly rainy. A
perfect opportunity to head underground.. In the early 1900s,
residents of the city of Paola were digging cisterns and accidentally
punched into a series of underground caves. Excavations revealed
an elaborate, multi-leveled crypt, holding the remains of some 7000
people, and numerous artifact items like pottery, sculpture, and jewelry. Only
recently reopened to the public, the Hypogeum is now climate controlled
with a small theater and museum. They really have done a great
job with the renovation.
The intro
movie is presented in 6 languages simultaneously (I found myself switching
to Italian and French just because it was fun) - it describes how
the early Maltese started Carving the complex out of rock some 5800
years ago, and how the modern excavation efforts began. As we
descended into the labyrinth, the guide pointed out original ochre
cave paintings and described the possible significance of each of
the hewn rooms. It was one of our favorite experiences of the
trip.
With
only a few hours left in Malta, what were we to do now? Shopping!
Screamed Lisa. So we took care of some last-minute shopping needs
back in St. Pauls Bay.
Tuesday,
1/23 - Conclusion
I dynamited
the breakfast buffet, blowing beans and bits of toast to the 4 corners
of hell.
Sigh. Not
really.. We actually jut got on a plane in the morning and flew back
to England. I developed my 12 rolls of pictures there and have
since posted a few of my favorites here. As you can tell from
the account, it was a really good trip. A week seems perfect
to see just about everything Malta has to offer. In the summer
months the Maltese beaches are supposed to be among the best in Europe,
but that kind of thing doesnt really interest me. Unless
of course were talking about topless beaches. Hubba hubba.
Mark
January, 2001
Hey,
Lookie here! For a brief Malta essay by Lisa, click here